Okay, now I've got news from my family.
About a week ago my dad got an offer within the same company he works for now, in a different place... WOW! And today he's decided we are going to go with it and run. The thing is, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen fast. Meaning we are moving in less than a month. By the first week or so of March we will be out of Chile and in another country. Well we just found out today it is a sure thing. WE ARE MOVING!!
TEXAS.
What!? Out of anywhere in the world they could be sent, and out of anywhere in the world I could be sent, we are sent to within a few hours of each other in a big state - let alone in the same country! They'll be near Temple, an hour out of my mission boundaries - I hope my mom doesn't get any ideas....
Anyways, I think that will be fun for when I want to visit my mission - it is a short drive!
Tuesday, February 10
UPDATE!! (soon to be hermana dewey)
1) I am going to be Sister Dewey as of TONIGHT!! Although I won't be wearing a badge until next Wednesday, when I enter the MTC, I am getting set apart tonight so I can be with my family when I do it, before I leave for Utah, tomorrow. I wish I could express all of my emotions and thoughts perfectly for people to understand, but I can't unless there is a way to transfer them to you. I am on the brink of something huge! I feel like this is a point for which I've been preparing all of my life - it's not the ending, there's so much more beyond, but up to this point, I feel like THIS is IT. This is the test I've been studying every single day for, this is the final exam which I've been taking countless classes for to give me the knowledge to pass this test.
I am SO excited for the Texans!! I truly love them already; it may sound strange and cheesy, but that is because it is true. I don't even know them, but I am willing to give them my everything (although it doesn't amount to much, but what I can offer them is an invitation to receive the greatest gift that could ever be given). I want to give them a year and a half of my life. I want to sacrifice for them. I want to give them a part of myself to make them whole. I want to increase my faith in the Lord so the prayers I give on their behalf might be answered. I may not be as prepared as I could have been - and I will have to make up for that - but I am willing to do anything I need to if it will be of use to those I'll interact with.
I know it will be a difficult work, but as President Faust said “It will not be easy to achieve anything really worthwhile.” I know there will be days when I feel defeated and exhausted and worn out. I will go to bed only to wake up in the early morning to do the same thing day after day. I will feel inadequate and will be brought to my knees.
Like Elder Holland said, “I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy. We are The Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him? It seems to me that missionaries and mission leaders have to spend at least a few moments in Gethsemane... For that reason I don’t believe missionary work has ever been easy, nor that conversion is, nor that retention is, nor that continued faithfulness is. I believe it is supposed to require some effort, something from the depths of our soul.”
You know... I may suffer some of the most challenging experiences of my life during my mission – in fact I am counting on it - but I will continue, as have the countless missionaries before me, because this is the Lord’s work and as I entrust my life with all of my weaknesses in His hands, I maintain the hope that as I try to know Christ, and follow Him, I will become like Him. And as I do so, “[His] work and glory, which is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” will become my work and also my glory.
I may not be perfectly prepared for such an involved work, but I am ready to give what I must to best do my part. It's here!!!
(And even though that was really long, don't miss the next post --- MORE NEWS!!)
I am SO excited for the Texans!! I truly love them already; it may sound strange and cheesy, but that is because it is true. I don't even know them, but I am willing to give them my everything (although it doesn't amount to much, but what I can offer them is an invitation to receive the greatest gift that could ever be given). I want to give them a year and a half of my life. I want to sacrifice for them. I want to give them a part of myself to make them whole. I want to increase my faith in the Lord so the prayers I give on their behalf might be answered. I may not be as prepared as I could have been - and I will have to make up for that - but I am willing to do anything I need to if it will be of use to those I'll interact with.
I know it will be a difficult work, but as President Faust said “It will not be easy to achieve anything really worthwhile.” I know there will be days when I feel defeated and exhausted and worn out. I will go to bed only to wake up in the early morning to do the same thing day after day. I will feel inadequate and will be brought to my knees.
Like Elder Holland said, “I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy. We are The Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him? It seems to me that missionaries and mission leaders have to spend at least a few moments in Gethsemane... For that reason I don’t believe missionary work has ever been easy, nor that conversion is, nor that retention is, nor that continued faithfulness is. I believe it is supposed to require some effort, something from the depths of our soul.”
You know... I may suffer some of the most challenging experiences of my life during my mission – in fact I am counting on it - but I will continue, as have the countless missionaries before me, because this is the Lord’s work and as I entrust my life with all of my weaknesses in His hands, I maintain the hope that as I try to know Christ, and follow Him, I will become like Him. And as I do so, “[His] work and glory, which is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” will become my work and also my glory.
I may not be perfectly prepared for such an involved work, but I am ready to give what I must to best do my part. It's here!!!
(And even though that was really long, don't miss the next post --- MORE NEWS!!)
Wednesday, January 28
Be good or be gone
I am leaving so soon. Am I ready?
YES. I am, and I will be.
Everything in my life up to this very second, has made a believer out of me, in preparation. Preparation is so essential, you cannot do without it, in any circumstance. Life is about preparation - the big things, the small things. Everything is about preparation, I believe.
I have come to know myself so clearly in this last month, more so in this time frame than in any other month of my life. It is kind of eerie... like... who I really am is confusing. It's this, or it's that, or this other thing, or maybe that other thing. It's a mix between who I am, who I'm trying to become, and the countless versions of who I want to be. Do you know what I mean? It's all in the air. It's never really set in stone, who I am - because that all depends on my decisions, and those are made every single day, where I like it or not. Do I continue being the person I am, and making the decision that person would make? Or do I just do whatever I feel like? I'm not saying these are incredible life-altering decisions, and everything comes to a climax, or that it will make me into an entirely different person. It probably won't even be such a notable change to anyone except myself, but they will not be asked to live with ME by making such decisions or not... I will. Which is why it's important for ME to make them.
And don't get me wrong, please. I am not becoming this selfish person where it's all about me. I am just saying it's important for me to be the person I am happy being, and want to be. This doesn't mean changing my beliefs or innate desire to help and love people. It's about being more me... isn't it?
But sometimes... sometimes some thing happens that gets me thinking. I mean REALLY thinking, more than just overanalyzing, as you can tell I do every now and then. And in those sometimes, I think maybe not. It's not about being more me, more myeslf. "He that loseth his life for my sake, the same shall find it." Isn't THAT really what it is all about? The times when I really give myself freely to someone else, and help them sincerely, are the times when I truly find my most inspired answers. It's only in truly giving, with only that motive, that I can truly receive. It's taken me a long time to simply consider this notion. Not I've got to go about learning and internalizing it...
I think change is a wonderful process, very difficult and sometimes very, very long. But what also takes a LONG time is realizing there is something more, something you need to improve. Realizing what that specific step necessary to perfecting yourself is. THAT is difficult, also. But that is the first step, you cannot stop there.
YES. I am, and I will be.
Everything in my life up to this very second, has made a believer out of me, in preparation. Preparation is so essential, you cannot do without it, in any circumstance. Life is about preparation - the big things, the small things. Everything is about preparation, I believe.
I have come to know myself so clearly in this last month, more so in this time frame than in any other month of my life. It is kind of eerie... like... who I really am is confusing. It's this, or it's that, or this other thing, or maybe that other thing. It's a mix between who I am, who I'm trying to become, and the countless versions of who I want to be. Do you know what I mean? It's all in the air. It's never really set in stone, who I am - because that all depends on my decisions, and those are made every single day, where I like it or not. Do I continue being the person I am, and making the decision that person would make? Or do I just do whatever I feel like? I'm not saying these are incredible life-altering decisions, and everything comes to a climax, or that it will make me into an entirely different person. It probably won't even be such a notable change to anyone except myself, but they will not be asked to live with ME by making such decisions or not... I will. Which is why it's important for ME to make them.
And don't get me wrong, please. I am not becoming this selfish person where it's all about me. I am just saying it's important for me to be the person I am happy being, and want to be. This doesn't mean changing my beliefs or innate desire to help and love people. It's about being more me... isn't it?
But sometimes... sometimes some thing happens that gets me thinking. I mean REALLY thinking, more than just overanalyzing, as you can tell I do every now and then. And in those sometimes, I think maybe not. It's not about being more me, more myeslf. "He that loseth his life for my sake, the same shall find it." Isn't THAT really what it is all about? The times when I really give myself freely to someone else, and help them sincerely, are the times when I truly find my most inspired answers. It's only in truly giving, with only that motive, that I can truly receive. It's taken me a long time to simply consider this notion. Not I've got to go about learning and internalizing it...
I think change is a wonderful process, very difficult and sometimes very, very long. But what also takes a LONG time is realizing there is something more, something you need to improve. Realizing what that specific step necessary to perfecting yourself is. THAT is difficult, also. But that is the first step, you cannot stop there.
Thursday, January 1
2009 is ALL mine.
I am HOME, in CHILE. This wonderful country that I love so much which I unavoidably tend to forget each time I have to face the unbelievably frustrating customs counter. AGH! But I'm here and I remember why I love this place (but I still love the US and not for the close-minded reasons people first brainstorm).
I had such a rough time getting here, mostly because I regard packing like I would a pungent smell... I STAY AWAY FROM IT. Which is why I didn't really get started until the evening before I had to leave (I was leaving at 7.30 am the next day). I am SO grateful to my amazing friends who helped me back. Both Jake and Nicole were so worried for me to have to pack alone and now I know... for good reason! I would NOT have been able to make it alone. We spend so incredibly much time packing. And by packing I mean sorting things into piles of not (including for, for DI, and for friends), storage, mission, and packing for Chile. It was pretty sick, I kid you not! Nicole and Rei helped out a lot and were able to keep my attention so I wouldn't distract everyone and waste even more time than I already had... But with their help and Jake's awesome ability to sort through things and scavenge for what I misplaced, and Nicole's INCREDIBLE packing skills (we spent sooooo much time trying to even out the weight of the suitcases. If it is 1-25 lbs over for international flights it's $150USD. If its 26-50 lbs over, it's 300. NUTS, people. NUTS! But thankfully I don't have to pay to check baggage internationally.) I was 1.5 pounds under with both bags. Phew.
I miss my friends so much! It is going to be weird to not see them for a month and a half, but I will hopefully see a few of them in February. At least the ones that really count... And then adios Provo and jeromino the MTC! Wow! That is so soon. Unfortunately I wasn't thinking and I didn't buy English scriptures. I thought I would just buy them when I got back to Utah but I wish I had bought them with enough time to use them and break them in... However I can buy some spanish scriptures while I'm here. And a few other things in Spanish which I can use. I'm going on a mission!?
I am SO excited for Houston. There are so many things about it that I want to explore but just getting to work with the people down there will unlock so many things for me. I am grateful to be called there, and to be stateside. I recognize how difficult it is to serve foreign and although it would be an adventure! I know the Lord knows my kneeds (pun intended). Tejas!!! I hope I am worthy to serve the people of Texas and I already love them!
I am so excited for this work, and I know my excitement will only grow. On December 13th one of my very, very best friends in this world was baptized!!!!! Ximena and I had been talking a lot about the Church and I never imagined how quickly she would be able to use my "lectures" in such a tangible way. Rei and Nicole and Andrea were at first taken back and couldn't believe our ears. We were so incredibly happy for her when she made that decision, and we continue to be. I love Ximena so much and although I know she hates my cheesiness, I know what a visible difference it has made in her life and what other changes it can and will continue to make in her life that are not so visible. She has been an example to all of us of what it means to seek the truth and to follow it, not knowing what lies ahead and being entirely independent and willing to take accountability. I'm grateful for her courage and willingness to take a stand and be willing to make that big decision and then carry it out by those small and simple steps which are so easy to eliminate. It was a wonderful baptismal service with SO many people there that truly loved (don't forget... TRULY AND SINCERELY, Xime!) her.
I'm grateful to the Lord and Xime that in a very, very, very small way I was able to be a part of that and watch the transformation she experienced as she as learned more about Christ and his church and grew even closer to Him than she already was. I was able to have just a tiny sample, as I watched Ximena, of what missionaries feast on ever single day. I cannot wait to begin this life, although it will be so difficult to leave my family especially and just as dificult and challenging to say "brb" on the incredible friendships which have formed over the years (HINT although they don't have to be paused if you write me!! HINT ). It's going to be a very difficult "c u l8r" because the friends and other family I have really grown to love and trust won't be waiting for me in Provo when I get back, but they'll be all around the world in LA, England, California, Hawaii, Washington, and who knows where else.
It will still be a "c u l8r," but it will be a more permanent God-be-with-you-till-we-meet-again "c u l8r" because the time I'll see them again isn't set. A mission will be difficult in saying goodbye at the beginning and saying goodbye at the end. It's difficult for me to begin the process of goodbye and of transition, because when I love people, I REALLY love them. I cling to them without being clingy. I keep them as mine and a part of who I am becomes them. They really are a part of me. I identify myself with them, and it's difficult to say goodbye to that friendship that has formed because it is a part of me. I know that is cheesy, but whatever. That's me, right?
En fin... I love you all and goodnight. Feliz 20o9!!!
I had such a rough time getting here, mostly because I regard packing like I would a pungent smell... I STAY AWAY FROM IT. Which is why I didn't really get started until the evening before I had to leave (I was leaving at 7.30 am the next day). I am SO grateful to my amazing friends who helped me back. Both Jake and Nicole were so worried for me to have to pack alone and now I know... for good reason! I would NOT have been able to make it alone. We spend so incredibly much time packing. And by packing I mean sorting things into piles of not (including for, for DI, and for friends), storage, mission, and packing for Chile. It was pretty sick, I kid you not! Nicole and Rei helped out a lot and were able to keep my attention so I wouldn't distract everyone and waste even more time than I already had... But with their help and Jake's awesome ability to sort through things and scavenge for what I misplaced, and Nicole's INCREDIBLE packing skills (we spent sooooo much time trying to even out the weight of the suitcases. If it is 1-25 lbs over for international flights it's $150USD. If its 26-50 lbs over, it's 300. NUTS, people. NUTS! But thankfully I don't have to pay to check baggage internationally.) I was 1.5 pounds under with both bags. Phew.
I miss my friends so much! It is going to be weird to not see them for a month and a half, but I will hopefully see a few of them in February. At least the ones that really count... And then adios Provo and jeromino the MTC! Wow! That is so soon. Unfortunately I wasn't thinking and I didn't buy English scriptures. I thought I would just buy them when I got back to Utah but I wish I had bought them with enough time to use them and break them in... However I can buy some spanish scriptures while I'm here. And a few other things in Spanish which I can use. I'm going on a mission!?
I am SO excited for Houston. There are so many things about it that I want to explore but just getting to work with the people down there will unlock so many things for me. I am grateful to be called there, and to be stateside. I recognize how difficult it is to serve foreign and although it would be an adventure! I know the Lord knows my kneeds (pun intended). Tejas!!! I hope I am worthy to serve the people of Texas and I already love them!
I am so excited for this work, and I know my excitement will only grow. On December 13th one of my very, very best friends in this world was baptized!!!!! Ximena and I had been talking a lot about the Church and I never imagined how quickly she would be able to use my "lectures" in such a tangible way. Rei and Nicole and Andrea were at first taken back and couldn't believe our ears. We were so incredibly happy for her when she made that decision, and we continue to be. I love Ximena so much and although I know she hates my cheesiness, I know what a visible difference it has made in her life and what other changes it can and will continue to make in her life that are not so visible. She has been an example to all of us of what it means to seek the truth and to follow it, not knowing what lies ahead and being entirely independent and willing to take accountability. I'm grateful for her courage and willingness to take a stand and be willing to make that big decision and then carry it out by those small and simple steps which are so easy to eliminate. It was a wonderful baptismal service with SO many people there that truly loved (don't forget... TRULY AND SINCERELY, Xime!) her.
I'm grateful to the Lord and Xime that in a very, very, very small way I was able to be a part of that and watch the transformation she experienced as she as learned more about Christ and his church and grew even closer to Him than she already was. I was able to have just a tiny sample, as I watched Ximena, of what missionaries feast on ever single day. I cannot wait to begin this life, although it will be so difficult to leave my family especially and just as dificult and challenging to say "brb" on the incredible friendships which have formed over the years (HINT although they don't have to be paused if you write me!! HINT ). It's going to be a very difficult "c u l8r" because the friends and other family I have really grown to love and trust won't be waiting for me in Provo when I get back, but they'll be all around the world in LA, England, California, Hawaii, Washington, and who knows where else.
It will still be a "c u l8r," but it will be a more permanent God-be-with-you-till-we-meet-again "c u l8r" because the time I'll see them again isn't set. A mission will be difficult in saying goodbye at the beginning and saying goodbye at the end. It's difficult for me to begin the process of goodbye and of transition, because when I love people, I REALLY love them. I cling to them without being clingy. I keep them as mine and a part of who I am becomes them. They really are a part of me. I identify myself with them, and it's difficult to say goodbye to that friendship that has formed because it is a part of me. I know that is cheesy, but whatever. That's me, right?
En fin... I love you all and goodnight. Feliz 20o9!!!
Saturday, December 27
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